Matching should be mutual
Programs commonly compare preferences and screening information before arranging an introduction. A profile or introduction is not the same as a final match. Both sides should have an opportunity to ask questions, understand expectations and decline without pressure before making a commitment.
Topics often discussed before a match
Relationship style
How much contact each side hopes to have during pregnancy and after birth.
Communication
How often to communicate, preferred channels and who participates in appointments or updates.
Travel and location
Clinic travel, monitoring, delivery planning and any reimbursement arrangements.
Medical values
Views on embryo transfer, prenatal testing, multiples, selective reduction, termination and other scenarios that should be discussed carefully before matching.
What a first conversation may look like
If both sides want to explore the match, a program may arrange a video call or meeting. Typical topics include values, communication style, family circumstances, expectations during pregnancy, boundaries, medical decision-making and plans for the relationship after birth.
What if it is not a fit?
Not every introduction becomes a match. A mismatch in communication, expectations, compensation, geography, medical preferences or relationship style can be a legitimate reason not to proceed. The process used after a declined match depends on the agency or program involved.
What happens after a match?
Common next steps include confirming medical screening, insurance review, psychological or psychosocial evaluation where applicable, legal review of the proposed agreement and clinic clearance before embryo-transfer treatment. The order and requirements vary. Separate legal counsel is commonly used and may be required by applicable law or program policy, but the exact legal requirements are jurisdiction-specific.
What to verify before agreeing
- Which screening steps are complete and which remain pending.
- Compensation, expenses and escrow arrangements.
- Insurance review and responsibility for uncovered costs.
- Medical autonomy and how medical decisions are addressed in the agreement.
- Communication, travel and delivery expectations.
- What happens if either side decides not to proceed before contracts or treatment.
A good match is not simply a profile that looks compatible. It is a set of expectations both sides understand well enough to decide whether they want to proceed.